He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
