I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
