He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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