It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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