mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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