He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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