she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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