Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
