quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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