And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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