i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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