i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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