he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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