the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
