He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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