I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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