he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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