The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You work out of a Hotel?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
