booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
