Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
