Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
