the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
