You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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