she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
