The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
