Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
