i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
