he thought i was a dude.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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