i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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