I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
