Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the liver wants what the liver wants
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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