Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

(920): View more from Wisconsin

wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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(949): View more from California

even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.

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(941): View more from Florida

I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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(406): View more from Montana

There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland

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(406): View more from Montana

my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....

(1-406): View more from Montana

It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.

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