craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
