addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love having hate sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
