I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
