i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize