The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
