I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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