Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
