It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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