So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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