Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
