im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize