I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
