Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize