It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
