i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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