how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
