i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you will always have a special place in my vag
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
