Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sext me about skeletons
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
