I want to have your abortion
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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