Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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