I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
