Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
