so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i drank out of a bidet.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
