Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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