WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
